Your success is my success

Celeste climbing in a tree in winter

I’m pretty swamped with career chats, annual performance review season (writing, meeting with all the organization’s managers and senior individual contributors to talk about everyone and how we can help them meet their career goals), and hiring for three positions that opened in 2021 (I hired 2/3 by the 19th of January, so I feel pretty good about all the work, even if it does feel like a metric ferk-ton of effort already). Despite being so busy, I try to schedule time for self-reflection. I wanted to share with you a brief scene from a recent performance conversation. During one topical conversation I had with one of my direct reports, I caught myself saying, “Look — your success is my success. I’ve got your back, but I need you to do your part: pay attention, and talk to me. “

I noticed, as I said this, that my words had quite the affect on him. I could tell from the long pause, from the hitch in his voice when he replied, that he felt deeply moved. I think he had never seen that kind of buy-in, at least not at the level I projected, from a manager before. (I wish I’d asked whether he had or hadn’t, honestly…I might sometime soon.) Having a strong effect on him meant a lot to me, in return. I like these moments.

One of the things I absolutely love about management is actually the ability to get to know someone at more-than-surface level, where I get to do what I call ‘play 3d Tetris’ with business goals, personal / career goals, project work, and deadlines. I get a lot of joy from meeting the business’ goals by fulfilling my team’s career goals. I enjoy meeting customer needs by crafting new business goals and massaging my teammates’ curiosity and their stated goals so that everything synergizes into a greater whole. (Except, I kind of hate that I used the word ‘synergize’!) I work to understand my space deeply, foresee and outline a compelling vision my engineers can get behind, and work to give it all life.

Hopefully as 2021 moves along, I’ll get to share with you, the blog reader, stories of building and sharing a vision, rallying the troops, and delivering customer-obsessed software. Wish me luck!

I have a longer post brewing in the back of my mind about how I formed my management thesis. The tl;dr: Over the years, I’ve had several truly terrible managers (and no, they weren’t all in my tech career, and no, I will never say who! So don’t bother asking, mk?) I’ve developed my management thesis more by weaponizing my self-awareness, than through any exceptionally good example in my direct manager position. All the while I occasionally think “no, I don’t want to be *that guy*”. I use that directional indicator to ‘sharpen my sword’ and improve despite the adversity of having terrible managers who weren’t in my corner, who would take advantage of my caring kindness. I’m also less of a pushover these days, thank goodness.

If you have any questions about how I learned to set reasonable boundaries, pay attention to my thoughts & opinions, etc. please feel free to comment or direct message me somewhere! I’m easy to find online. I’m sure I will write more on those topics, later. I just can’t be sure when, until I start to actually write.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.